While waiting to be served at an area restaurant, a conversation between a local European American man and a couple of tourists about the District’s history became increasingly loud and louder still within me once I realized the nature of the conversation. The local man began to talk to them about the city’s turbulent history with race and the riots in ‘68, his approval of gentrification and even his thoughts on the Obama presidency. I will spare you the details of his report as I am sure that your racial imaginations will fill in the blanks.

I was incensed and along with other customers, expressed as much before deciding to leave the restaurant to the dismay of the owner.  I was angry because of his gross generalizations as were others who had been long- time District residents.  We did not all share the same experiences or come to the same conclusions as the local man. I provided a brief history lesson on the social construct of race and redefined his arguments concerning gentrification as those aligned with the goals of elitism and capitalism— not race. In hindsight, I would have added, “Just tell your story.  You are not the spokesperson for the residents of the District.”  The tourists, noticeably embarrassed by the man’s responses, convinced me that they had gotten more than they had asked for. But, just before I left, a young woman walked over to my table and said, “I voted for President Obama.”  Puzzled, I simply looked at her and she quickly walked away.

What was I supposed to say? Thank you? She didn’t elect me. And what did she mean? That she loved and supported all socially defined black people, that she believed that all were capable of governing the country, that she was not a racist because she had voted for him? And the more important question for me is why she felt the need to express this at all.

This notion of all speaks to an impossible relationship, awareness and ability but this is what race does. It generalizes our lives and our lenses.  A relationship with one is a relationship with all.  Knowledge of one is knowledge of all.  An experience with one is an experience with all.  A vote for one is a vote for all.  If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.  If you’ve experienced one, you’ve experienced them all.

It is an impossible reality because we have not met nor will we meet, find things in common and build a relationship with every person who would fall into this social category.  All are not likeable.  All will not run for the presidency.  It is a ridiculous and unnecessary expectation that does nothing to further our visions of social equality and justice.

Besides, I need specifics. I have heard persons say, “I hate all _______.”  Well, you haven’t met all.  All _______ have not done something to warrant this reaction. Some say, “All black people are criminals.”  No, provide the name of the person who accosted you. Give an example or an occasion where this entire socially constructed group committed a crime, were arrested, arraigned, sentenced and did serve time.  “All black people eat __________.” Who has assessed the dietary restrictions and nutritional habits of all? There are none that are vegetarian, have food allergies or are lactose intolerant?

“All white people are racists.” Really? Every single one? There were worldwide interviews conducted wherein every single socially defined white person defined themselves or were identified as such?  “All white people seek to oppress.”  No, give me the name of the person who captured you, who sold you, who enslaved you, who raped you, who burned a cross on your lawn, who lynched you, who called you a racial slur, who defaced your property, who physically and/or verbally assaulted you.  Some of these things didn’t happen to all of us. Be specific as we cannot be a victim of every racialized crime; this comprehensive woundedness would leave nothing of ourselves with which to exist and experience life.

And these generalizations of history, experience and social groups are an impediment to authentic relationships, forgiveness, healing and reconciliation.  Race hurts us all; this is a generalization that I am willing to accept.  In all other matters, be specific.