My experience at Chautauqua ended with an opportunity to speak with the leadership as well as a major donor of the New Clergy Program.  We had shared our experiences of racism with our colleagues earlier in the week and afterwards persons came to each of us to offer what they thought was the best response to the numerous slights and incidents of disrespect that we had experienced.  Some suggested that the person was crazy but I argued to suggest such without a medical diagnosis or even being present for that matter afforded us the ease of dismissing the incident as that of one who could not control her and his actions and responses for which we were then not responsible.  It says that we can do nothing about people like this, that this is the way that they are.  Thus, action on our part is unnecessary and wasted even.  This response is ultimately dismissive.

Others came to offer their apologies for what had happened, sincerely expressing that they were saddened that such an egregious thing had happened at a Christian gathering.  But, honestly, it is not an apology that I can accept as they are not the culprit.  Truly, they have done nothing wrong and their sense of guilt, if any, would be misplaced.  I don’t want them to apologize but the one who offended me.  And as soon as they said that they were sorry, they mentioned their need to attend to another matter.  So, it really did not allow me to further express my discontent and did not afford them the opportunity to further dialogue with me about my experience.  This response ignores my true need.

Then there are those who came with explanations and solutions.  Based solely on the retelling of the event, they can get into the mind of the offender and tell me what they were thinking and how they meant it, what they may have been struggling with and where they are in their walk with God.  These persons then offered ways for me to look at the situation and suggested lessons that could be learned as if a course on racism was what I desired.  I didn’t want to learn from the offense; I wanted not to be offended.  I wanted not to be singled out for the social coloring of my skin and made to feel less than and/or unequal to others based on the stereotypes associated with the “races.”  This response adds insult to injury.

The person that I had the least interaction with during my week at Chautauqua and whom I had only met briefly the night before at a dinner held at his home actually provided the healing response that I needed.  He listened.  He offered no rationale for the offenses neither did he attempt to explain why it had occurred.  He said that he was deeply saddened and then he began to cry.  He mourned with me.  Nothing more needed to be said.  I knew that I had been heard deeply and truly and that he understood because he just listened. 

Let those who have an ear to hear be an agent for healing the wounds inflicted by race by offering this gift.