Our Many Selves is the title of Elizabeth O’Connor’s 1971 publication.  A member of The Church of the Savior in Washington, D.C., she originally wrote it for the missions groups that staffed the Potter’s House, a coffee house belonging to The Church of the Savior.  Inspired by the words, “radically committed minority,” found in Erich Fromm’s The Revolution of Hope, the people there sought to be this for the city of Washington, D.C. during a time when the community was fraught with crime and in turn, hopelessness and despair. O’Connor writes,

“Once again we renewed our commitment to intercession for one another and the city which we had claimed as our parrish.  We knew there was no ministry of power without hours spent in the silence waiting for the imparting of God’s Spirit and direction.  We also knew that prayer was costly and that we would resist it. We had grown wise enough, however, not to rush out and buy a new book on prayer.  Time had taught us that no inspiring talk or book was going to make a difference for long.  Our need was the practical application of the books we had already read. The real establishment that needed to be overthrown was not the Welfare Department or the complacent affluent or the slum landlords, but the establishment in each of us that had its own dole system, that did not want to be denied the little comforts and had condemned the real self to a dim and dingy cellar (emphasis added).” 

The real self. This is the purpose of my writing, with each keystroke I am taking another step in this inward pilgrimmage to the new self or new man as described by the apostle Paul (Second Corinthians 5.17).  I am encouraged and challenged by her words as the problem lies not outside but inside of us.  It is not about social systems, power, privilege or “The Man” but it is about us.  How have we conspired against ourselves and each other?  How have we embodied the establishment and oppressed ourselves? 

In terms of race, we have not only taken it personally but we have personalized it.  We have made race our own and taken on its social truths.  It is a Stockholm Syndrome of sorts as we have lived with race for so long that in order to survive, we have taken on the identity that race has given us.  We don’t want to talk about the capture of the self or plan for an escape.  We just want to survive race so we do what it tells us to and we say what it tells us to say. We become whatever race asks us to be and the selves that race has created are many. 

In the first exercise, O’ Connor asks us to observe our many selves and to journal about what we see.  She also asks these questions that I hope will be as helpful to you as they have been for me: “What are the selves that you cherish and would like to strengthen? What are the ones you dislike?… In your time of meditation, reflect on your many selves.  Do you control them all or are there some that spring uninvited onto the stage of your life and refuse direction?”

Review the many selves of the racialized life listed in yesterday’s post and feel free to add your own.  Gather them all up and line them up along the wall of your mind.  Look at who you are made of.